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On the Other Side of the Material World/Blessed Are the Obstacles, Because by Them We Grow!
Blessed Are the Obstacles, Because by Them We Grow!*
In particular, God has pointed out to me the serious shortcomings that prevented my further advancement.
In fact, after that lecture of Vladimir, directed by him, it would seem, not personally to me, I suddenly understood that I am exactly so: stinging others within myself, in my internal states, i.e. emotions... But I naively thought about “my inner world” that nobody knows anything about it!...
But... God began to show me personally the scenes of my life where it had apparent...
I clearly felt that if I right now do not cope with this — then I cannot move on! I will not be allowed!
I remember, I buried my head in the pillow and covered with a blanket, listening to what God was saying to me in not soft words. In the chest, all was burning, so that it was quite painful on the material plane...
... One of the mistakes of spiritual disciples consists in assuming that God will always be just patting on the back and comforting. And it is they, people, who criticize each other, and God is only Love! But this is not so! To wash away the mental vices from anyone of us, God sometimes has to make in us very painful operations. And when the “patient” agrees to this pain... — the victory becomes possible!
… With me then, Emil communicated most of the Holy Spirits. When I started to go back to the status of self-flagellation, He immediately suppressed it.
... In the end, waking up one morning, I felt like a new human — light, cheerful, ready for new efforts! It has become easy to the soul which had shaked off the next portion of unnecessary weight! I stood before the doors opened for me, in which I finally was allowed to enter! That were doors to the Liberty!
I realized that I have made a step: from the state of Guru Nanak — far ahead!
* * *
Then I continued the discussion on this topic with Anna — when we were alone together. She, in particular, has shared with me these thoughts:
“A true spiritual Master shows the Divine Care for His or Her students. If such a Master sees in them their sins or vices, then — at the right time and from the state of Mergence with God — the Master most tactfully informs them about their shortcomings.
“And such words of the Master may sometimes be hard, distressing — to shock the disciple by those vices which he or she has not noticed yet.
“In this case, there may be witnesses of these dissections. And that may trigger their emotions of condemnation to the ‘sinner’ and complacency, thinking that I am better than him or her!
“But, in my opinion, when we observe someone’s mistakes, the best is using the principle of ‘mirror’. Namely, if in my presence the talk is about someone’s shortcoming, especially if the Master clearly highlights it, — it is possible to check attentively: whether such defect is in me too?
“And one should never try to help anyone from my own state of looking down from my own ‘goodness’ — to the ‘fallen’. This leads to narcissism and arrogance! Needless to say how ugly it looks from the outside!”
God once told me these words:
“You should not only receive the Care of God, but learn to give the Divine Care towards all beings!
“There are situations where it would be wrong to give to others what he or she wants to receive. Not all wantings of people should be satisfied, but only those that lead to the progress of this soul and other souls. Sometimes it will be good to refuse in the obtaining of the desired.
“For example, if a child wants to eat only sweets, if one were to satisfy this longing, we would only help this child become sick.
“And to adults — it would be for their own good, if you look at their situations from God’s position. And you will realize that sometimes it is necessary to hesitate the Divine Strictness.
“Incarnate Master shows strictness when it is needed to help to the student, persisting in a certain vice, to see his or her own shortcomings. And you also have to learn it, while always tracking your own strong connection with God. For the same actions or words without deep foundation of Divine Love become ugly and repulsive — and lead to opposite results.
“If you mimic the behavior of the Master without a personal connectedness with God, it turns into an inept picture of ‘smug preaching’ declaring the ‘rules’ of his or her own little ‘lower i’.
“To avoid this error — humility renders an indispensable aid. One, humbly thinking about oneself, does not offend another by arrogant preaching, but offers assistance with maximum tact and love.
“And — control oneself: do I think always of another with love and care, without judgmental emotions? Is my help always such, as is objectively necessary?
“Probably everyone can find in oneself, what should be corrected further, for the thoughts and emotions to be always clean!
“So, one needs to be gentle and affectionate, accurate and self-aware, when this one is mastering the Divine Care — not to hurt anyone other in vain by words or deeds, also to provide help to the souls to which God wants to provide help through this one!”
... But — here is what Andrew the Apostle said to me in one of our conversations:
“Humble your mind before the Will of God! Do not do what you want, but what God wants!”
... What does it need, to make it really happen? What does it need for my own thoughts and desires do not overshadow understanding of what God wants really?
The “lower i” meanders by all sorts of tricks, trying to “defend itself”, “to prove its innocence”. This is — the struggle of “lower i” for “its life”: the fullness of the implementation of the “Higher I” leads to death of “Iower i”!
It is necessary to replace by the Divine I — the thinking part of the I-soul. But it does not happen quickly.
To start, one needs to learn how to clearly separate true God’s I — and “mind machinations” of “lower i”.
In important situations one always needs to learn percepting God and to obey Him. But we must remember that when one wants too much of a certain response or is too sure of the infallibility of one’s personal opinion, — then God begins to joke, saying “yes-yes” in answering troublesome questions. Such “God’s jokes”, as Vladimir calls them, — are made by God for the consequences of such executed personal desires become obviously evaluated by the own experience of everyone.
The ability to “neutralize” the personal desires and to let the triumph of the Divine Will, to consistently do so, — it comes with the experience of attentive life of the incarnate soul in interactions with God.