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On the Other Side of the Material World/These Were the Lessons of Growing Up
These Were the Lessons of Growing Up
My attempts to fight against discouragement have failed. Restless thoughts gave no moment of peace or rest. Again and again I made mistakes. And Vladimir, watching my states at a distance, again and again scolded me for it.
I still could not understand that this was not enough — to learn the methods of psychic self-regulation and meditation! But one also needs to learn to live in higher states constantly, no matter what!
Understanding this — suddenly became a turning point for me!
Now it seems to me self-evident. And this topic was discussed by Vladimir — during communications with us — many times! But sometimes one needs to go through difficult lessons and growing stages to reach that point where, as it were, scales fall from one’s eyes — and understanding finally comes!
Even once Babaji said to me that this deficiency was prevalent in me during my last earthly life, when I tried to go by strides, not understanding that one must be properly secured on the mastered steps.
Yes, it was very painful: to get bogged down in a pool of... — after flying above the clouds. But acquired experience of flight was good to stimulate, to become selected from that pool!
... In the spring I had the opportunity to host a guest in my house — the young adept. It was — created by Vladimir for me — the opportunity to correct my mistakes and learn caring of others.
To behave impeccably — as turned out in reality — was not so simple. Words, actions, thoughts, emotions — were supposed to be under constant supervision! And it was necessary to tell him about his errors so as not to offend him, to explain such that I do not make my own mistakes, help so to teach myself to love...
Sometimes in those days, I went to have a rest and gain strength near a small cozy pond in the park.
At last, the two-week stay of my guest was coming to an end, and I was again plunged into thinking: I did not make all that I wanted... And — I did not become what I need to be before God... And, in general, — had I changed myself for the better?
And then my heart was suddenly filled with joy! I suddenly realized that I was on the place of power of David Copperfield!
Then I sat on the bench for a long time, silently enjoying fellowship with Him, resting and gathering strength in His Arms.
“Well! Now I know that you are ready to do anything for Me!” — David summed up the outcome of our communication.
So God led me: promoting, punishing, hugging, warning, kissing — with His Love!
... In July, my work in medicine became for me especially hard. By “coincidence”, the workload had increased dramatically. Moreover — suddenly all my relatives get sick. The number of people wanting and waiting for assistance from me, had increased manifold. I almost began to feel physically the number of penetrated into me indriyas. Endless complaints and complaints of patients had turned for me into a torture... I did not know how to escape from this: how not to get tired and do not come back home “squeezed like a lemon”? To throw it all — I, too, could not: for I loved my profession and wanted to help others any way I can.
In those days, I began to think about how could work Sathya Sai Baba in His last earthly life? It’s — the unthinkable: how many people were attracted to Him with their volitions! Millions! And I — only a couple of thousands...
Fast vacation, fortunately, has solved this problem — and I quickly recovered. But the reason for thought and work on myself were enough!
... Vladimir — before his departure from me — said that Borovik and His Mother invited me in August “for mushrooms”. But this month was already coming to an end.
And I was extremely pleased when I saw in my mailbox an invitation from Vladimir to come, yes, “for the mushrooms”. But my enthusiasm wilted quickly: after all, my own status had much to be desired! How can I go in this state?!
Vladimir tracked my states and doubts. And he sent the second email: “You are asking for. Come!”.